Consistent....

Late into the night, I lay awake next to my groggy son.  I couldn't help but think about a conversation I've had with my friends recently.  We were discussing surviving the summer with our children.  I told them I am sad that we're almost to July.  I was surprised to hear them say that they were looking forward to the school year starting up again so their kids would be gone.

They grilled me with questions about what my children do all day.  What about fights?  How about teasing?  Chores? Boredom?

I think they were surprised to hear me say, "Yes- my children fight.  Yes, they tease each other and yes they do get super bored too."  And the shocking part?  I still want them around me all summer. 

Next I was asked how I deal with all those situations.  I gave the best answers I could.  Basic stuff like time apart from each other, change of activity, you know just simple ideas.  I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. 

Let me get back to where I am pondering in bed.  As parents we deal with similar situations.  Children talk back.  They disobey.  Hit others and maybe do a little biting. :)  They are children.  They're learning right?

So what is the difference between my friends perception and mine?  How can we have such similar situations but different outcomes?

I decided in that moment (late at night) that it all came down to consistency.  We always view this word in a positive context.  But here is the flip side:

Consistently ignore your children = children don't listen
Consistently do everything for your children = no independent children
Consistently threaten and never follow through = they don't take you seriously

Where as-

Consistenly follow through with action = children pay attention
Consistently teach your child a life skill = they'll become independent
Consistently stop and listen = they'll respect you and trust you

And so it goes.  Am I perfectly consistent at all the good stuff I am suppossed to do as a parent?  Hardly.  Perhaps 80% of the time I am.  On a really good day-85.5%.  This goes in all aspects of life. 

As a teacher you know the more consistenly a student reads their skills improve.  The more consistent you are at improving your teaching skills the better teacher you are. If you consistenly strive towards a goal, you'll succeed.  So my advice to my friends? 

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